With profuse apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein

A bit of geekery I came up with last year. It goes  a long way towards showing how my mind works…

Plastic assassins controlled by the Nestene,
Duggan’s abysmal at all things clandestine,
Truncated episodes from Peter Ling,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Harrison Chase plays his songs to his gardens,
Bernice is most unimpressed by the Vardans,
Menoptera gliding on translucent wings,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Vertical shortcuts through fog-ridden traffic,
Entropy stopped by equations mathematic,
Saving the world with a kettle and string,
These are a few of my favourite things.

When the belt’s tight,
When “time” rings,
When I’m feeling sad,
I just think of a few of these Doctor Who things,
And then I don’t feel so bad.

The Doctor Who alphabet (DISCLAIMER: not to be tried on actual children)

So, in Issue 456 of Doctor Who Magazine, back in January, there was the first of a new regular column by Jacqueline Rayner, in which she discusses what it means to be raising children who are a second generation of Doctor Who fans.It’s not a column I pay much attention to; I don’t have any kids and I don’t relate to them very well, probably because I suspect they’re more emotionally balanced than I am. However, in the first instalment, Rayner joked about the idea of teaching her kids the alphabet using Doctor Who (“‘A is for Adric who won a gold star, B is for Bessie a sprightly old car…'”), and an accompanying illustration by Ben Morris expoanded the idea to the rest of the alphabet, with pictures of various Who characters, monsters etc.

So far, so cute. Cut to tonight, and, scouring the recent posts on Gallifrey Base (as an alternative to sleep), I found various GB posters attempting gamely, and with varying degrees of success, to expand the idea. As I was bored, I thought I’d have a go at the whole thing.

Following the original stanza, and Morris’s illustration, the best I could come up with was:

C is for Cybermen, with stockings for faces
D is for Daleks, on hovering bases

E is for Exxilons, whose City had roots
F is for Foamasi, lizards in suits

G is for Gastropods, who left trails of slime
H is for Harry, who stood on a mine

I is for Ice Lord, all coated in rime
J is for Jagaroth, splintered in time

K is for K9, the robotic dog
L is for Leela, who heard screams in the fog

M is for Master, the would-be dictator
N is for Nyssa, with her sonic vibrator

O is for Ood, for all menial jobs
P is for Plasmatons, misshapen blobs

Q is for Quarks, who gave orders by bleep
R is for Rani, who took away sleep

S is for Sontarans, on war they were keen
T is for TARDIS, transcendental machine

U is for Urbankans, who abducted some Greeks
V is for Vervoids, like murderous leeks

W is for Weeping Angel, safe as long as it’s seen
X is for Xoanon, a big face on a screen

Y is for Yeti, all hairy and messy
Z is for Zygon, suckler of Nessie

*coughs*

If it’s shit, then it’s shit. But it only took half an hour or so, and it was a fun little exercise.